Monday, January 31, 2011

2:36 PM

So, this is odd.

The painful realization that has all gone wrong.

And nobody cares at all,

and nobody cares at all.

So you buried all your lover's clothes

and burned the letters Lover wrote,

but it doesn't make it any better.

Does it make it any better?

And the plaster dented from your fist

in the hall where you had your first kiss,

reminds you that the memories will fade.

So, this is strange.

Our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance

where nobody leads at all,

where nobody leads at all.

And the picture frames are facing down

and the ringing from this empty sound

is deafening and keeping you from sleep.

And breathing is a foreign task

and thinking's just too much to ask

and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.

This is incredible.

Starving, insatiable,

yes, this is love for the first time.

Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.

Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?

Well, this is the last time.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

9:56 PM

WHY IS BERNS FLYING TO HK TO SPEND CNY WITH HIS FAMILY I'M DAMN JEALOUSZX NOW I MISS MY FAMILY AND SINGAPORE D: I really miss spending cny with all my relatives!! Even if I don't like half of them. But oh the atmosphere! The huge crowds of people you haven't seen for a year, the awesome food cooked by awesome aunts, the angpaos and the new clothes... SIGH. I remember the most homesick period of my first year was also the cny period and it was so baddd D:

Well at least I have my housemates haha. They are so sweet (we had a family talk about why I was feeling emo how cute is that). I just really miss home and all my friends in singapore, even the ones I don't talk to when I'm over here. I love the ease and familiarity of hanging out with everybody.

OKAY. Don't angstttt. Cny in 3 days must be in a festive mood~

In other news, it's becca's 21st tomorrow! (: Had a great dinner with her and her other friends, even though it was slightly awkward at the start for me since all her friends are angmohs and my apparently dao face seem to put off most angmohs haha. Even though she doesn't read my blog (I think) I really love her so!! She must be one of my oldest friends, and also my neighbour back in singapore and here in london, and my future colleague haha. The fates that brought us together man our lives are totally intertwined. I loved getting random afternoon calls back in singapore about going shopping 'in an hour's time', or gymming, and meeting at my condo's guardhouse in the middle of the night to pass each other stuff and chat about life. I love how she talks to my mummy and how my mummy likes to tell her embarrassing things about me. And now I love that she comes over and has dinner with my housemates so often she's almost part of the family! Haha auds calls her the new adopted kid. She's one of the things that makes living in london less lonely, because she's like a slice of home shipped all the way here with me (: And she'll totally appreciate being dehumanised like that hahaha.

OKAY. There I go reminiscing like an old woman.

I miss homeee

Saturday, January 29, 2011

5:00 PM

Fridays with audrey! (:

Went shopping, then went to watch Tangled premier (ikr london is damn freaking lag) on the imax 20m hugeass screen, had sashimi buffet in covent garden, then went home to watch 5hours of anne of green gables.

HEHE. good days.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

9:19 PM

I am feeling an overwhelming sense of frustration. I really wish that I could just blow up, like literally, and all that would explode out from me would be a lurid hodgepodge of insecurity, inadequacy and ineloquent anger.

12:59 PM

"Do you know the bite on your arm looks more like a lovebite than an insect bite? It's like some guy missed your neck and bit your arm instead."

"Yeah well... I've been keeping a secret from you all this while. Every night when you're asleep, a guy climbs over my balcony into my room and we have really wild sex. Sorry I didn't tell you."

"Oh. Actually I knew that already. I'm a light sleeper unlike edds remember? I can totally hear you guys from 2 rooms away."

"...?? Really?? But... all this while I thought you guys didn't know! I... I..."

"Yeah luckily we keep our windows closed every night. Imagine what the neighbours would say if they could hear you guys!!"

LOL. I love how all my friends are retarded.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

10:17 PM

The time I would spend with pictures I would not send.

I watched you go from left to right.

I followed you all night across my blinds.

You'll change your mind come monday,

and turn your back on me.

You'll take your steps away with hesitance.

Take your steps away from me.

I'm making my peace, making it with distance.

Maybe that's a big mistake.

You know I'm thinking of you.

I miss you.

You'll change your mind come monday,

and turn your back on me.

You'll take your steps away with hesitance.

You'll take your steps away from me.

Monday, January 24, 2011

7:35 PM

Between the devil and the deep blue sea

11:35 AM

Auds and I stayed up last night to watch Anne of Green Gables! Haha we found out that it was one of both our favourite children's books EVER (only difference being that I actually read the series when I was a kid, and she read it like a few years back) so we were damn excited to catch the movie! It was frigging 3 hours long but so awesome I wanna read the series again. Her life is so awesome and she is so pretty. sigh.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

6:01 PM

Not going to ever try sleeping on my bed ever again.

We might kiss when we're alone

When nobody's watching

We might take it home

We might make out when nobody's there

It's not that we're scared

It's just that it's delicate;

12:40 AM

Okay so I spent the entire week sleeping on the floor of my bedroom, and after about 2 initial days of being bites-free I started waking up with bites all over again. Seriously what is up with my life.

I'm super obsessed with finding out what the hell is biting me, because I'm totally being disfigured!! I look like I have many lovebites on my neck like serious wtf -.- And it's DAMN ITCHY. Spamming mopiko like mad every day. I wonder if it's addictive? You know like nicotine patches.

OKAY THEORIES: 1. I have bedbugs. And rugbugs (been sleeping in edds' sleeping bag on top of my rugs) 2. I have bedbugs who're so desperate for a meal that they took a 2-day hike from my bed onto my rugs 3. Some insect is living in my duvet (gonna test out this theory tonight by sleeping without it) 4. It's a very sneaky mosquito who got sick of audsy's blood (would explain why audrey kinda stopped getting bites. Also her favourite theory because she refuses to believe we have bedbugs-- our landlord just bought our mattresses before we moved in) 5. Eddsy's toy gnomey comes alive at night, sneaks into my room and nibbles at me 6. And the theory yiming suggested today is that I self-abuse by pinching myself in my sleep every night. Hmm.

Rawr I hate getting plagued like this.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

11:46 AM

I love having really deep conversations with ngiam.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

3:26 PM

HEY NOW NOW, WE'RE GOING DOWN DOWN
AND WE RIDE THE BUS THERE, AND WE PAY THE BUS FARE
OR WE FIND A NEW REASON, A NEW WAY OF LIVING
AND WE BREATHE IT IN, AND TRY TO DREAM AGAIN.

hahahaaa drank too much coffeeeee too high to studyyyyyyy~

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

4:35 PM

I love this song from Oliver! It is SO CUTE. Imagine the artful dodger and oliver singing it. -dies-

I'd do anything for you, dear
anything,
for you mean everything
to me

I know that
I'd go anywhere for your smile
anywhere,
for your smile
everywhere, I see

Would you climb a hill?
Anything!
Wear a dafodill?
Anything!
Leave me all your will?
Anything!
Even fight my Bill?
What, fisticuffs??

I'd risk everything for one kiss,
everything
Yes I'd do anything
Anything?
Anything for you

I'd do anything for you, dear
anything
for you mean everything
to me

I know that
I'd go anywhere for your smile
anywhere,
for your smile
everywhere I see

Would you lace my shoe?
Anything!
Paint your face bright blue?
Anything!
Catch a kangaroo?
Anything!
Go to Timbuktu?
And back again!

I'd risk everything for one kiss
everything,
Yes I'd do anything
Anything?
Anything for you

I'd go anywhere for your smile
anywhere,
for your smile
everywhere I see

I know that
I'd do anything for you, dear
anything,
for you mean everything
to me

To me!
To me!
To me!
To me me me me me!

I'd do anything for you, dear
anything,
Yes I'd do anything
Anything?
Anything for you

Would you rob a shop?
Anything!
Would you risk the drop?
Anything!
Though your eyes go POP!
Anything!
When you come down PLOP!
Hang everything!

We'd risk life and limb
To keep you in the swim
Yes we'd do anything
Anything?
Anything for you!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

10:04 PM

YAY auds and I are on our way to becoming psychic!! hahahaha

We totally had a few look-each-other-in-the-eyes-and-know moments and jinx moments today how cool are we. HAHA okay starting to sound lesbianic this is very bad omg. But we're on our way to driving eddsy mad! :D

5:36 PM

ugh I've been plagued by some invisible insect for the past 2-3 weeks!! I have a total of 41 bites on my body, all in various stages of recovery. I can't figure out wth is biting me!!! It's probably the same thing that's been plaguing auds since we first moved in, but it's targeting me now with a vengeance D: probs got sick of the taste of her blood zz

rarrr stupid insects itchy itchy itchyyy

1:33 AM

people should just go mind their own fucking business seriously, what do you think you know?

Saturday, January 15, 2011

10:55 AM

seriously wtf is with the whole astrological signs change thing. they should just leave it as it was last time, people hate change and can't deal with it. who cares if it's wrong? sometimes righting the wrong can make situations even messier.

haha I dunno why I'm giving a shit about this, frankly no one really cares about their zodiac signs anyway. but it's still change and I'm one of those change-haters, so it's really rubbing me the wrong way especially since MY zodiac sign has changed. who dares change it without my permission????

and I've used the word change way too much in this, but I really hate that word. and I'm still slightly hungover from yesterday. ugh should stop drinking too much (not that I drink alot actually just more than before) and resolving not to drink beyond my limits each time I wake up sobered up since obviously I'm not listening to myself, that should have been my new year's resolution instead

5:03 AM

They heard me singing and they told me to stop

quit these pretentious things and just punch the clock;

Friday, January 14, 2011

12:01 AM

Audsy and I went to watch GREASE today!!!! Whoooooooooo

Omg it is SO happy. I couldn't stop smiling throughout the entire thing. It's not like the cast was very awesome or anything, the leads couldn't really sing very well (in fact none of them sang very awesomely except maybe vince fontaine) and the storyline was quite crappy cos they totally chopped up the film, but the songs are SO awesome and the dance routines are amazing and the sets and costumes!! Plus the lead danny is so handsome hahaha. Forgives him immediately for not singing well.

Wheeeeeeee!! Happy happy happy (: everyone should go watch grease!!!!! :D seriously. okay I probably just made it sound quite crappy by telling you the storyline and singing sucks, BUT really everything else overcompensates for those flaws. It is awesome.

Auds and I are totally going to learn this song:

We go together like
rama lama lama
ke ding a de dinga a dong
remembered for ever like
shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom

Chang chang chang-it-ty chang
shoo-bop
That's the way it should be
Wha oooh yeah!

We're one of a kind
Like dip di-dip di-dip
Doo-bop a doo-bee doo
Our names are signed
Boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy
boog-e-dy
Shoo-by doo-wop she-bop
Chang chang chang-it-ty chang
shoo-bop

We'll always be like one
Wa-wa-wa-waaa!

When we go out at night
And stars are shinin' bright
Up in the skies above
Or at the high school dance
Where you can find romance
Maybe it might be lo-oh oh oh-oh oh-ove

Ra-ma la-ma la-ma ka ding a da ding de dong
Shoo-bop sha wad-da wad-da yipp-it-y boom de boom
Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop
Dip da-dip da-dip doo-wop da doo-bee doo
Boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-ed-y
Shoo-by doo-wop she-bop
Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na yip-pit-y boom de boom
Ra-ma la-ma la-ma ka ding-a de ding de dong
Shoo-bop sha wad-da wad-da yipp-it-y boom de boom
Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop
Dip da-dip da-dip doo-wop da doo-bee doo
Boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy
shoo-by doo-wop she-bop
Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na yip-pit-ty boom de boom

[Guys]
A wop ba-ba lu-mop

[Girls]
A wop bam boom

We're for each other like
A wop ba-ba lu-mop and wop bam boom
Just like my brother is
Sha na na na na na yip-pit-y dip de boom
Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop
We'll always be together
Wha oooh yeah!
We'll always, be together
We'll always be together
We'll always be together [End here or fade out]
A wop ba-ba lu-mop a wop bam boom!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

12:00 AM

I miss the sun and the warmth and even the disgusting sweaty humidity of singapore, and the food and the whole comfortable atmosphere of home.

London is awesome really and I love it very much, but still I miss home. There's something missing in me and it's home. Maybe it's because the holidays just ended, and every time a holiday ends you go home but I'm not home. Sigh. What a bad time to suddenly feel homesick.

I don't really regret spending december holidays in London though! An experience one must experience. Can't wait to go back but it's in 6 months and also that would mean the end of 2nd year, which I dread D: SO MUCH CONFLICT IN MY LIFE.

Monday, January 10, 2011

2:50 PM

IT'S A NEW TERM AHHH

hahaha shit I realise that like 90% of my songs are damn emo WHY like that? oh well.

The unknown distance to the great beyond

Stares back at my grieving frame

To cast my shadow by the holy sun

My spirit moans with a sacred pain

And it's quiet now

The universe is standing still

There's nothing I can say

There's nothing we can do now

There's nothing I can say

There's nothing we can do now

And all that stands between the souls release ?

This temporary flesh and bone

We know that it's over now

I feel my faded mind begin to roam

Every time you fall

And every time you try

Every foolish dream

And every compromise

Every word you spoke

And everything you said

Everything you left me, rambles in my head

There's nothing I can say

There's nothing I can do now

There's nothing I can say

There's nothing I can do now

Up above the world so high

And everything you loved

And every time you try

Everybody's watching

Everybody cry

Stay, don't leave me

The stars can wait for your sign

Don't signal now

And there's nothing I can say

There's nothing I can do now

There's nothing I can say

There's nothing we can do now

Goodnight, travel well

And there's nothing I can say

There's nothing I can do now

Saturday, January 08, 2011

10:18 PM

Auds and I just spent like 2 hours trying to sing beatles songs in chinese, and I can tell you that we will never be employed as translators ever in our lives. haha. No but seriously, did you know cellophane is translated as glass paper in chinese??? How cool is that.

4:28 PM

Ngiam just happily told me about a massive council gathering that happened a few hours ago, and that I'm going to miss just about EVERYONE's 21st birthday parties, AND I AM VERY JEALOUS.

zzzzz.

12:35 PM

I wake up, it's a bad dream

no one by my side.

I was fighting,

But I just feel too tired

to be fighting, guess I'm not the fighting kind.

Wouldn't mind it

if you were by my side

But you're long gone,

yeah you're long gone now.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

11:32 PM

I just realised how ABSOLUTELY BEHIND I am in like, all my modules?? Like how is that even possible it's not like I'm very busy taking up other commitments :/ Looks like I've been spending wayy too much time being distracted last term. Time to change it D: Ugh looking at how much I don't know about what went on last term makes me damn freaking depressed.

4:10 PM

This is damn hilarious.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

4:19 PM

Ugh periods.

I hate mine. They are irregular and weird to the point of being annoying. They can come 2 months late, or last the entirety of 2 months (that happens when my first one takes so long that the second one begins). They can appear as mild brown discharge from start till end or be so viciously red, violent and full of clots like it is now that I feel like my entire womb is being shed out.

I hope there's nothing wrong with my womb D:

heehee hope you enjoyed the 1 minute of TMI there!

12:36 AM

Omg just watched the musical Oliver! and the kids are SO CUTE. Ahhh dies. Imagine a whole stageful of little kids singing it was so happy and adorable!! And the artful dodger so charming (more so than olivertwist sadly) and the sets were all so pretty! Happy. Too bad we procrastinated for like 2 months until we realised that they were closing in london after this week, so we could only get not very good seats :/

Yay in a musicals mood now!!

Monday, January 03, 2011

7:41 PM

Suddenly misses singapore very much. Hi singapore, when will I get to see you again? In a rather long time, I'm afraid. ):

Sigh. I'm so distracted that I can't do work. I'm very dead and I know it very well, but still. zz.

Saturday, January 01, 2011

10:44 AM

Happy new year! (:

How was 2010. It's difficult to actually say, since it feels like it's been 2 different years thanks to the fact that year 1 spills over into the first half and second year only began 3 months ago. But yeah it's been a really schizophrenic 12 months!

I finished my first year in LSE and started crazy second year. I lost 6kg and gained it back. I moved out of halls and into an apartment with a (then) couple I hardly even knew. I hated living in london for the first half and loved it in the second. Made some new friends and grew apart from some old ones. Rediscovered old friends. Got pickpocketed twice and lost my IC twice. Travelled in europe with only a (even more blur) girl! Participated in the annual crazy boxing day sales. And before I knew it, the year has ended.

This was the year of many highs and lows. I cried bucket loads and laughed harder than I could remember doing in years. There were lessons I learnt but also mistakes I couldn't seem to get out of repeating (yay new year's resolution-- stop repeating them). Well, I can't exactly say it's been a good year, nor has it exactly been a horrid one. But while it started off rather badly, I'm glad it ended pretty well (: In any event, it's been a very revelational one, where I finally understood more about myself and other people and perhaps, to some degree, about the world? Haha okay this is getting lame.

Hopefully all your 2010s were good in some way (: if they were I hope 2011 will be even better, and if they weren't there's no way 2011 could be any worse, so it's win-win! yay.

To all my friends, whether old or new, close or now distanced- thanks for being there for me at some point in my life. Really I have awesome friends some of which I don't deserve. Heres to great friendships (: