Tuesday, March 27, 2012

12:31 PM

this is not at all easy, and sometimes, many times, times like these, I don't want to do it anymore.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

5:38 PM

LONDON I love you I don't want to leave you noooo -grabs onto balcony railings for dear life-

12:14 AM

and so school has ended for good. third year was pretty darn amazing, at least school-wise, and for that I am proud of myself! now to emulate that for the exams.

easter! exciting and stressful all at once.

Monday, March 12, 2012

3:40 PM

and now THIS IS THE LAST WEEK OF MY UNDERGRADUATE LIFE. will break the tradition of skipping last weeks and attend the hell out of every lecture and class this week. still cannot believe it. yet life seems to be going on very normally. WHY?

in other also boring news, the sun is so shiny today! you haven't seen bright sun before if you haven't been out of singapore, mark my words. here is where wearing sunglasses isn't a want but a need, which reminds me that I should put my sunglasses in my bag if I want to be able to see where I'm walking this week!

Sunday, March 04, 2012

2:03 PM

they say that the darkest hour is right before dawn, and I don't know if that's even scientifically true but whatever-- it is SO true.

finally figured that my severe down times probably happen because of those annoying periods with their disruptive hormonal changes. just a few days ago the smallest things sent me spiralling down into this deep dark place with no light in sight, but today everything's back to normal and I'm happy all over again. I'm not just happy, I'm exuberant. I hope things stay this way for a long time again.

Thursday, March 01, 2012

11:43 PM

Essay writing takes out alot of the happiness in me, especially after 3 weeks of them looming overhead. then again, after these 500 words to cut and all the footnotes to put in, my work will be done forever and ever. this is the last formative essay I will ever had to write in my life as an LSE student. woah.

The Mass has ended go in peace

—not in knowledge, but in calm; not in indifference,
but nearly. Under bullying fog the white houses
stand with effort on the coast, the tides teasing
the scrub blue, the land beneath hassled by waves,
drowning in salt-wine. The lichen, as scalloped and ridged
as the cliffs, breathes red and gold; its smell, like the waft
of earth to heaven, is nearly imperceptible, a touch of fish-rot
and smoke. (I asked, Lord, for stillness and lack of concern.)
The town here could be wiped clean from the land—
no streak or smear of roofs, no smudge of walls.
But the people go on painting the village white.
The weathered wood chokes on its dust; the new whiteness
laughs through fog. I asked for acceptance and got the reek
of paint and a bright house. I can see inside the house: a woman,
sweating and bent, putting away the rollers and the cans.

- K A Hays

12:21 PM

IT'S SO BRIGHT AND SUNNY TODAY.

It's days like this when I get all jaunty and say what has been annoying me for ages-- that really, who are you to judge or condemn? so I know I've done some pretty bad things in my time as a young person (like I'm so old now haha) but I have never harmed anyone in the process but myself. for the bad I have done in my life I think I have done enough penance for it, a long time ago. you on the other hand smile and pretend that everything's cool when obviously you think otherwise. we are all hypocrites, you and me alike, but at least I have recognised that of myself a long time ago. so hopefully one day you'll come to realise how irrational your passionate anger has been, and when that day comes you can kiss my ass.

by ass I meant donkey, because it's lent and I'm staving off bad words again (as usual, not going very well)

and by you I mean many people, some of which were really good friends but whom I've come to realise are simply people sitting on very high horses. I hope your butt hurts from all that horse riding.